I Think I’m Going Japanese, I Think I’m Going Japanese, I Really Think So…

Big red stamp: “LOSE WEIGHT,”

—Report from work’s health screener.

I’m fat? Big shocker.

 

Health screeners give cash,

Tell you your obvious flaws.

Used cash to buy smokes.

 

Got free turntable,

Bought three albums on vinyl.

Swanky, Kennedy.

 

Like the hipsters say,

“It just sounds better on vinyl.”

I sadly concur.

 

Turntable spinning

“Let’s Get it On” – Marvin Gaye.

Chicks really dig it.

 

Mustache getting long,

Sadly, shall never be thick.

Fuck you, Movember.

 

Twelve-One: beer in hand,

Razor ready to cleanse lip.

Bad combination?

 

 

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