Poker Face

One thing I forgot to mention yesterday is that I didn’t have nearly much beer ‘stached (Get it? Get it?) as I had thought. Turns out the roomie invited the neighbors over while I was in the ‘Nati and they looted through my beer inventory. Normally I’d be perturbed, but it saved me some work this time around. As long as he and I are clear that never a-fucking-gain will this happen, I think I’m alright with it…but if it happens again, I’ll castrate him.

So, I’ve been listening to Lady GaGa a lot in the last few days, much to my roommate’s chagrin. I’ll admit that it’s girly, but it’s so damn catchy I can’t help myself. That being said, I did find this recently thanks to my friend Jasmine, and that shit is just flat-out funny.

And now for Mustache-Watch 2009: it’s still bad. There’s a 85% chance of ugly mustache by December 1st. I’ve been advised to “rub some chicken shit on my upper lip, that’ll help ‘er grow,” and my friend Howie has shaved off his beard just so that, on 12/1, he can show how much more impressive his ‘stache-growing ability is. Well gee golly y’all, I just don’t know if my ego can handle all these compliments. Assholes.

You know, for a guy who used to loathe country music, there sure is a lot of it creeping onto my phone. Por ejemplo, I’ve been listening to “Toes” by Zac Brown Band all damn day. Adios and via con dios, a long way from GA. Someone do me a favor and pour me some Jäger, I’ll grab my guitar and play… I think it’s mostly because people here a) think I’m the biggest hayseed redneck they’ve ever met because I say y’all, ain’t, listen to country and, until recently, drove a pick-up and b) because they hate country, and we all know I’m a vindictive son of a bitch.

Today was the first big test of my sobriety-chops: the post-work bar-trip. Probably four days a week my boss, Neal, a co-worker, Howie, and myself mosey down the street to the bar after we’re done at work. I’m not about to lose that camaraderie, but I may feel a slight sting when I order a coke. That’s pride fucking with me. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps (name that quote).

In non-booze, but possibly mustache-related news, what the hell is up with Brad Lidge? The man just had a flat-out meltdown last night. I have a theory: the Cardinals got way better this year after they started to grow out mustaches. The Phils need to get on that…next season, because they sure as hell don’t have enough time for a do-over this season. I gotta admit–the Yanks are just the team of destiny this season.


7 Responses to Poker Face

  1. Jasmine says:

    I’m so glad I made your blog. I hadn’t actually seen that particular clip, love it!

  2. Rodzik says:

    Pulp Fiction in regards to Bruce Willis throwing the fight.

  3. Bear says:

    Eh country music isn’t so bad. I actually hated it up until about this last January. Now I listen to it all the time…

    P.S. Lady GaGa is amazing.

    P.P.S. Keep workin on the stache. I believe in you. Haha.

  4. Cleve says:

    You should go for the solo moustache. No beard.

  5. Sarah says:

    What happened to your truck?? Also come back to Seattle and be sober with me. 🙂

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